Why Not An Epic?
January 24, 2008
[Scroll for New Updates]
Driving to the aeroport at 4:30am I wacked a deer with the trusty Xterra. Had to crawl under the truck in 10° darkness to bend back the plastic bumper and fender so the wheel would clear. There is a big wad of deer hair in the wheel now… and the front end smells like deer piss or worse. Probably $500-$1000 worth of damage: a nice ski trip or shoot in the city right there.
I looked around for the deer. I wanted to have a word with that stupid creature but instead it is probably suffering a slow lingering death in the brush. It would have been preferable to both of us if I could have dispatched it. I didn’t have a gun with me but I would have figured something out. Imagine going through the TSA airline security check point with bloody sneakers….
As it was, the TSA just gave me the business. Full inspection of all my camera stuff. I swear on the return leg I’m going to pack all my usual suspicious photo gear but I’m going to also carry a few giant rainbow silicone sex toys, set to vibrate.
~~~
Made it. I heard the deer died about 20 feet from the road. Remind me never to fly United through Dulles, it is a pit. Sat between two big gaseous men for a six hour flight, couldn’t upgrade or swap seats but I think I would have paid any amount to have done so….
California is nice. After a good sleep my head is clear and I feel the best I’ve felt in weeks here.
~~~
Monday Morning: on Liz and Tiff and Hannah’s couch. They have the nicest place in K-town — LA really is better than NYC for living. Tiff and Hannah are so cool — Liz is doing well in Lalaland.
I’ve been inside a lot of girl’s apartments, especially over the past year. And what makes Liz, Tif, and Hannah’s place so much better and more comfortable than any of the others is that they have zero cats. I’m somewhat battle-scarred…. it might be kitty fatigue. Every girl seems to come with a cat, even my wife. At first I couldn’t figure why I felt apprehensive — I kept expecting some furry creature to jump out or on me, because cats are evil and mean like that. Out of instinct I just sort of assume that every woman has a cat — but after a few hours here I realized that the cats wouldn’t be attacking. I could relax, chill out, inhale without fear of sneezing. I can let my black sweater recline into the couch and come up clean…. It is just such a relief to be feline-free. I can relax, breathe, be human again. Too much pussy is a bad thing.
(I don’t want to hurt cats. But I do think they should be neutered. And don’t go complaining about the lack of men in your life if you have a cat, because they are indeed “man-repellents”. Also, I want to apologize for the accidental disappearances of my sister’s cats Nos. 3, 5, 12, and 15. The rest were lost by Dad or natural causes, like the car.)
I shot a bunch earlier — models, not cats — Pistol out in the desert, Betcee in some hourly (hotel), and the three girls out at this railyard with downtown LA in the background. I shot so much with the Leica that my fingertips started bleeding, but I also shot 54 sheets of 4x5. I’ve learned that I really like the wider 35mm lens on the Leica, so I will sell the nice 50mm Zeiss lens when I return. Not having the digital SLR is quite freeing but bad news for blogging on the road… no pix to post. I did bring a Panasonic minicam but it is a PITA to use honestly… I made a cell phone video (346kb .3g2 file) of Tiff dancing before the start of Juno. It’s an interesting little psych tidbit that she was the only one who took the dare.
Haven’t found any art/ad/magazine contacts yet… I need to show this work… I have the sense I just shot some great new stuff too.
~~~
Tuesday Night: Trying to figure out how to bring a pinkberry onto the redeye home.
Reader Comments (add yours)
1. Paul Butzi — Jan 24 2008 11:22 AM
I'm not clear on exactly how having a few giant silicone dildos on hand is going to help you with the deer problem.
I don't want to be clear on this, either.
2. John — Jan 28 2008 12:39 PM
I just hate when that happens. They never cross at the crossing sign where you expect them to. On such a long flight you must have gone crazy with the little voice whispering "mother" "mother"? Ever think of renting equipment on location? John
3. David Ray Carson — Jan 31 2008 10:28 AM
I suggust you learn How to Massage Your Cat. Ha ha ha.